[“I Get It” by Chevelle begins to play as the LWF opens once more, to explosive cheers.  A dazzling array of pyrotechnics is unleashed upon Infamy Stadium, signalling the return of Sunday Night Rebellion.  After the camera pans across the massive crowd, it switches to the announce table, where Alex Blunt and Mickey Avalon are waiting to kick off the show.]
Alex Blunt: Welcome to Sunday Night Rebellion, folks!  We hope you don’t mind the delay, but we experienced... technical difficulties in the ring after the last show!

Mickey Avalon: Yeah.  We did.

[Mickey Avalon can be seen drinking a scotch, having already set up a pyramid of empty glasses.]

Alex Blunt: ...Avalon, we’ve been over this.  You’re not supposed to get drunk while commentating!

Mickey Avalon: Yeah... well... fuck you.

Alex Blunt: All right... we’ve got an action-packed evening for you tonight, featuring Anomaly and Apius in our opening bout!  This match promises to serve as a form of retribution for last week’s attack on Apius by the mysterious Anomaly!

Mickey Avalon: I’ve seen some shit, man... I’ve seen some shit you wouldn’t believe.

Alex Blunt: Whatever you say, Avalon.

[“Hell” by Disturbed begins to play, as the lights fade out, leaving the arena in pitch darkness.  The music begins to swell, and the lights slowly fade in, a loud crash being heard as Anomaly drops into the ring.  The lights flash back on as the music hits its apex, and Anomaly slowly rises, standing in a corner of the ring.]

Alex Blunt: And there she is, the enigmatic Anomaly!  Millions of LWF fans have been waiting to see this awesome force compete in the ring, since her frightening debut last week, in which she displayed freakish strength and destroyed the monstrous Apius!

[As if on cue, “Releasing the Demons” by Godsmack begins to play.  Red smoke begins to spew into the entrance ramp, the song kicks in and Apius rises out from the floor in front of a wall of fire, beginning a casual march to the ring to start the match.]

Alex Blunt: For someone facing an opponent who completely destroyed them last week, Apius fairly collected, isn’t that right, Mickey?

Mickey Avalon: Man, I’ve seen some shit...

Alex Blunt: We get it.

Mickey Avalon: Some fucked up shit you wouldn’t believe.

Alex Blunt: Apius tries to make his way into the ring, but Anomaly cuts him off with a big left hand through the ropes!  And it is a big hand, isn’t it, Mickey?

Mickey Avalon: ...I’ve seen some shit, man.  Some shit you wouldn’t believe.

Alex Blunt: We get it, Avalon!  Anomaly drags Apius into the ring, displaying that supernatural strength with her left arm!  Apius tries to throw a left of his own, but Anomaly ducks and hits the big man with a nasty uppercut!  Apius reels, and Anomaly pursuits, landing a brutal roundhouse kick, hitting the doubled-over Apius right in the jaw!  Apius is leaning up against the turnbuckles now, but Anomaly won’t let him rest!

Mickey Avalon: God damn it, woman!  There’s a cool-down period, Jesus!

Alex Blunt: Anomaly charges into the corner, going for some sort of flying clothesline, but Apius catches her and turns it into a spinebuster!  Apius has finally gained the advantage, but it looks like he’s still reeling from that vicious beat-down he suffered at the hand of Anomaly!

[The camera switches to Avalon, who chokes on the scotch he’s drinking.]

Mickey Avalon: The fuck, Blunt?!

Alex Blunt: Anomaly rolls away and gets to her feet, which spurs on the massive Apius to charge at his opponent!  Apius grabs Anomaly’s neck for a chokeslam, but Anomaly counter by grabbing Apius’ neck as well!  Good Lord, Anomaly just lifted Apius into the air!  And now she’s lifting him up into a one-handed military press drop!  Here it comes, Heaven’s Torture!  Anomaly drops Apius down into a torturous backbreaker!  Apius is writhing in pain, and Anomaly’s looking to do more damage!  Anomaly bends down, but Apius grabs her by the neck again!

Mickey Avalon: How’s it feel to be a fuckin’ idiot?

Alex Blunt: Apius grabs Anomaly’s neck, but she batted his arm away with that unreal left hand!  I think she may have tore Apius’ arm open!  Good Lord, Apius is bleeding!

[The camera switches to Avalon again, who looks nauseous.]

Mickey Avalon: Oh my God... blood... ring... guh.

Alex Blunt: Anomaly goes for the chokehold again, and Apius has no defence!  She’s going for the Feathered Wings of Hell, that devastating chokehold STO—she hits it!  Apius is out! 
Anomaly steps on Apius with her right foot, and the ref goes for the count!  One, two, three, it’s over!

[“Hell” by Disturbed begins to play, and Anomaly walks solemnly out of the building.  The camera zooms in one Apius’ immobile form, and Rebellion goes to commercial.]

Alex Blunt: Welcome back to Sunday Night Rebellion, where we just saw Anomaly absolutely squash the normally dominant Apius!

Mickey Avalon: Kinky.

Alex Blunt: And up next we’ve got a very interesting match indeed!  The return of Cody “The Chief” Mercer, who had a solid last week against The Shadow, and the debut of the appropriately surnamed Malcolm Saint!

[“Breadfan” by  Metallica begins to play, as The Chief appears on the entrance ramp, to a fairly enthusiastic response by the crowd.  Cody “The Chief” Mercer walks down the ramp, carrying a ski-doo helmet with goggles attached under one arm.]

Mickey Avalon: It’s still summer, cockknuckle!

[Again, The Chief ignores Avalon, and continues down the ramp, stopping to flex a bit. He enters the ring and hangs his helmet on one turnbuckle. The bell is rung, and the match begins.]

Alex Blunt: The crowd is certainly warming up to this bright new prospect in the LWF!  And now it’s time for the debut of that most saintly of saints, Malcolm Saint!

[“Revelations” by Audioslave plays as Malcolm Saint appears upon the entrance ramp.  He examines the crowd with disgust and contempt, signalling for Sophie to come onto the ramp with a flick of his finger.  Sophie follows suite a step behind Malcolm, her head bowed.  Malcolm enters the ring and Sophie takes her position outside.  The bell rings, and the match begins.]

Alex Blunt: And here we go!  The Chief starts to circle Malcolm, who doesn’t so much as acknowledge the snow-riding superstar!  The Chief looks pissed, he’s got that helmet!  He just blasted Malcolm with it, who wasn’t even looking at his opponent!  Malcolm’s on the ground, he might be out cold!  The Chief goes for the pin, one, two, th—NO!  Near-fall for Cody Mercer, who looks understandably astonished that Saint managed to get his arm up!  Cody gets to his feet, and so does Malcolm!  Saint looks a little shaken up from that blow from Cody-

Mickey Avalon: Fag.

Alex Blunt: But looks ready to fight!  Cody and Saint lock up, and Malcolm turns it into a nice spinebuster!  Malcolm’s in control now-

Mickey Avalon: Curb-stompin’ the fuck outta him!

Alex Blunt: Malcolm drags The Chief to his feet, slapping him in the face!  The crowd is booing this man out of the building, they can’t stand this!  Malcolm Irish whips The Chief into the corner, and kicks him in the gut!  Now Malcolm mounts the turnbuckle, signalling for the ten punches!

[Malcolm starts to deliver punches to The Chief, but the crowd refuses to count, booing loudly.  Malcolm dismounts the turnbuckle and drives his shoulder into The Chief.]

Alex Blunt: Vicious shoulder block there by Malcolm!  I’ve got to be honest, there’s nothing very saintly about this!  Malcolm pulls The Chief away from the turnbuckle and hits him with a short-arm clothesline!  The Chief goes down again, and Malcolm goes for the cover!  One, two—no, The Chief got his leg on the ropes!  Malcolm gets up, appealing to the ref, but that was definitely just a two-count!  The Chief gets up in the distraction and hits a low blow on Malcolm’s most heavenly of areas!  Malcolm falls to the ground and The Chief gets to his feet, the crowd’s loving this!  The Chief raises his fist in the air, trying to feed off the energy of the crowd!  But wait, Malcolm’s on his feet!  Malcolm runs behind him and applies the reverse chancery on The Chief!  He pulls him up for a reverse vertical suplex, and then drops him down right into a backbreaker!  That’s the move he calls The Rapture, one, two, three!  Saint wins, Saint wins, Saint wins!

[“To End the Rapture” by Avenged Sevenfold plays, signalling Malcolm’s victory.  Malcolm exits the ring, heading back to the entrance map, Sophie following his lead.]

Alex Blunt: What a disappointing result for all the fans here at the Infamy Stadium, who were definitely on The Chief’s side!  And next up is an exciting match-up, between The Shadow and newcomer Damon Foster!

[“Symphony of Destruction” by Megadeth begins to play as The Shadow walks confidently down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring, eager to fight.]

Alex Blunt: And here he is, The Shadow!  He suffered a loss to The Chief last week, and we can only imagine that he’s looking for a victory here to make up or his loss!  But now it’s time to welcome LWF newcomer Damon Foster!

Mickey Avalon: Jesus, how many of these are there?

[The lights dim, casting the entire arena into darkness. The crowd goes silent as the letters ‘D’ and ‘F’ display on the titantron.  “Song for a Devil’s Song” by Destroyer 666 begins to play and the letters change to spell out the name ‘Damon Foster’, the crowd displaying mixed emotion. Damon Foster begins to walk down the ramp, a spotlight following  his trek as he remains focused on the ring and on his opponent.  He slips into the ring as the name on the titantron disappears into itself and the lights fade back in.]

Alex Blunt: And here we—whoa!  Damon Foster charges right in for a spear on The Shadow, who kicks him right in the face on the way!  Foster’s stunned, and the Shadow moves in for an STO—he hits it!  Foster’s on the ground, now Shadow sets up for that Cloverleaf—and he’s got it!  The Shadow has that Cloverleaf locked in, right in the middle of the ring!  Foster’s got to be in utter agony here, his legs have to be in tremendous pain!  Wait a second—Foster rolled through, and he’s turning it into a figure four leglock!  My god, what innovation by Damon Foster!  Damon’s turned the tables on The Shadow with that innovative figure four!  But, wait, now The Shadow’s turned Damon over!

Mickey Avalon: Looks like Shit-for-brains and Dipshit there can’t decide who’s on top.

Alex Blunt: The ref’s breaking it up!  The two men get to their feet, and Shadow takes the lead with a kick to the gut and a quick Snap DDT!  The Shadow hooks the leg and goes for the pin, but only gets one.  He pulls Foster up and tries to set up for a Russian Legsweep, but Foster fights out of it!  Foster charges in with a clothesline, and now he’s going for a Boston Crab!  The Shadow blocks it and rolls backwards onto his feet!  Damon charges, but The Shadow was waiting for it and gave him a kick in the gut!

Mickey Avalon: Dipshit goes for that Russian Legsweep again, and this time he hits it!  Wow, he just drilled Shit-for-brains right into the mat!  Dipshit goes for the cover again and gets two.  Now Dipshit’s transitioning right into a rear-naked choke, this might be it!

Alex Blunt: Mickey.

Mickey Avalon: Yeah, Blunt?

Alex Blunt: It’s Damon Foster and The Shadow.  Not Shit-for-brains and Dipshit.

Mickey Avalon: I know.

Alex Blunt: Glad we cleared that up.

Mickey Avalon: Shit-for-brains looks like he’s about to pass out, but Dipshit lets go of the choke!

Alex Blunt: The Shadow’s drawing Damon Foster to his feet, and now he’s got him in a standing leg scissors!  My God, this is it, The Phoenix!  This has to be one of the most dangerous moves I’ve ever seen—he’s got the double-underhook, and HE HITS IT!  The Shadow hits The Phoenix, commonly known as the Tiger Driver ’91!  He goes for the pin, one, two, three, this match is over!

[“Symphony of Destruction” begins to play, and The Shadow stands tall over his fallen opponent.  The camera fades out and Rebellion goes to commercial.]



[Sunday Night Rebellion returns to show Alex Blunt in the ring, with a microphone in hand.]

Alex Blunt: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my distinct... “pleasure” to introduce to you, the proprietors of the LWF, Johnny and Roger!

[Alex Blunt slides out of the ring as “Johnny” by System of a Down begins to play.  As the song proclaims “Hello, my name is Johnny!” Johnny comes down the ramp, wearing a white business suit.  He stands by the ring, waiting for his companion, who begins his entrance once the song proclaims “Hello, my name is Roger!”.  Once The Two are both outside the ring, they enter the ring together, each with a microphone in hand.]

Johnny: Ladies and gentlemen, we, as the proprietors of the LWF, wish to thank you personally for coming out to see our show. It is because of fans like you that we exist, and it is for fans like you that we plan more exciting events. Such as, in one month’s time, the first LWF pay-per-view.

Roger: Four weeks from now, on August 3rd, we will broadcast Odyssey live to paying viewers around the world.

Johnny: And it is our pleasure to present to you and to our roster a brand new title. We bring to you the Intercontinental Championship Title. It will be another heavyweight title in addition to the Legendary Championship Title. By the time Odyssey ends, we will have a brand new Intercontinental Champion.

Roger: But that’s not all. Over the next few months we will begin preliminary qualifying matches.

Johnny: Qualifying matches to earn a place in a Legendary Championship Title match. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, before the New Year we will have declared our first Legendary Champion. The first qualifying match will be at Odyssey, along with the title match for the new Intercontinental Championship!

[Johnny and Roger leave the ring, and the camera switches back to Alex Blunt and Mickey Avalon.  Two complete pyramids of glasses can be seen next to Avalon.]

Alex Blunt: Well, certainly an impactful statement made here tonight by Johnny and Roger.  The upcoming months will definitely be an exciting time for the LWF!  And speaking of excitement, it’s time for our main event of the evening, a Gas Chamber Match!  As we speak, the twin cages have been lowered just above the ring, and will be lowered down completely once both combatants have entered!  Ladies and gentlemen, for the Extreme Championship, this is Damian Hunter versus Spectre!

Mickey Avalon: This certainly promises to be a solid wrestling match.  We’ve seen some good matches tonight, but few people in the LWF can match the pure wrestling skills of Damian Hunter and Spectre.

Alex Blunt: And without further ado, here comes the challenger!

[The opening guitar riff of “You Eclipsed by Me” by Atreyu blasts throughout the arena as the lights dim.  Damian Hunter walks into a beam of white light, coming from underneath the stage, as a wind turbine begins to come to life just under his feet.  Damian stands for a few moments, looking out into the darkness as his dark overcoat dances around his body.  He slowly makes his way down the entrance ramp, lights coming to life under his feet, disappearing just as fast as his sole leaves the surface.  Damian rolls into the ring, and makes his way to one of the turnbuckles, as he leans against it, emotionless.]

[The lights go out, and the crowd starts to cheer, knowing this signals the entrance of Spectre.]

Alex Blunt: And here he comes, the Extreme Champion, Spectre!

[Dark blue lights are slowly turned on, and the chilling first notes of  “The Unforgiven” by Metallica begin to play.  The song plays for a while, then as the percussion hits, the blue lights vanish once more and turn on, revealing Spectre in the middle of the entrance ramp, staring at his opponent.  After the lyrics of the song kick in, Spectre walks down to the ring, never taking his eyes off of Damian.  He walks up the entrance stairs, throws his coat aside and gives his belt to the ref.  He then enters the ring by walking over the ropes, and stands at the opposite corner of the ring from Damian.]

Alex Blunt: If you direct your attention above the ring, you’ll see two cages being lowered!  A ring-tight steel cage, surrounded by an outer Plexiglas steel cage!  You’ll see that a gas mask is hanging from the middle of the roof of the steel cage; once that mask has been removed, knock-out gas will be poured into the ring and only then can either man score a pinfall!

[The cages lower into place and the bell rings, indicating the start of the match.]
Alex Blunt: And the match beings!  Spectre and Damian circle the ring, and then lock-up!  Spectre overpowers Damian, throwing him into a nearby turnbuckle, then charges in with that boot to the chest!  Spectre pulls Damian away for a clothesline, but Damian ducks!  Damian kicks the knees of Spectre, but Spectre turns around and lifts him up for a spinebuster!  Spectre goes for it, but Damian reverses into a mid-air DDT!  Huge move by Damian!  Damian’s climbing the cage, trying to get near the center and that gas mask, but is this maybe too early to go for the win?

Mickey Avalon: Damian’s climbing the ropes, but Spectre’s back on his feet!  Spectre pulls Lameass McFuckshit down and hits a beautiful flapjack!

Alex Blunt: ...thanks for that, Mickey.  Spectre gets to his feet, and so does Damian!  Kick in the gut by Spectre and—ouch!—Implant DDT by the big man!  Spectre pulls Damian to his feet, but now Damian hits a nice spin kick, getting the seven footer right in the face!  Great elevation by
Damian Hunter, who just levelled Spectre!  Now Damian runs up to the ropes, and he hits the springboard moonsault, the Dawn of Fate!  Damian gets to his feet, and it looks like he’s going to try and climb the cage again!  He’s getting up there now; he might have it this time!  But Spectre’s back to his feet again!  Damian saw him, and he just hit a hurricanrana off the top of the cage!

[The camera turns to the announce table, where Blunt is staring at Avalon.]

Mickey Avalon: What?

Alex Blunt: Aren’t you going to say something?

Mickey Avalon: No, fuckhead.

Alex Blunt: Great.  Damian gets back up, but Spectre’s still down!  Damian tries to set up a single-leg Boston Crab, but Spectre kicks Damian back!  Spectre on his feet, and Damian charges in!  Spectre’s waiting for it and counters with a spinning spinebuster!  Damian’s on the ground and now Spectre’s ascending the cage!  My word, he can move for a big man!  Damian’s stirring, can he get up?!  Spectre’s in the middle of the cage now, he’s reaching for the mask, but Damian just hit a springboard enzuigiri on the back of Spectre’s head!  Good Lord, this man can fly!

Mickey Avalon: The fuck is he, Superman?

Alex Blunt: Shut up, Mickey!  Both men on the ground now, and neither one is stirring!  Damian gets to his feet again, but Spectre just took Damian to the ground with a Legsweep!  Now Spectre’s pulling Damian up by the throat, going for the Hangman’s Noose—but Damian escapes, turning it into an arm drag!  Great skill being shown by Damian, managing to move the much bigger Spectre!  Spectre gets up, and Damian’s going for the Eclipse—but Spectre gets out of the way!  Damian turns around and meets a clothesline by Spectre!  Damian’s down, now Spectre’s going up top on the turnbuckle!  Spectre climbs—and hits the Nightfall!  That’s a 300-pound leg drop!

Mickey Avalon: We get it.  Fuckshit’s large.

Alex Blunt:   Now Spectre’s climbing the cage again, going for the mask— he gets it!  Spectre gets the mask, but it falls to the ground!  Damian catches it and puts it on, Damian’s got the mask, Damian’s got the mask!  The gas is pouring in, this is Damian’s chance!  Damian charges in for another superkick, but Spectre turns it into a Leg-trap Powerbomb!  Damian’s on his back—

Mickey Avalon:  Hrrggl!

Alex Blunt: Are you okay?

Mickey Avalon:  I’ve seen some shit, man... some shit you wouldn’t believe.

Alex Blunt: Get over it.  Damian gets up after that Powerbomb by Spectre, and springs off the ropes, hitting a big flying clothesline!  Both these men have to be absolutely worn out by now!  Wait a second... Spectre’s getting up!  He should be out by now, that ring’s full of knockout gas!

Mickey Avalon: Well, that’s why it’s Spectre’s match.

Alex Blunt: And if you don’t know!

Mickey Avalon: Now you know!

Alex Blunt: Spectre and Damian square off in the ring!  I can’t tell what his face looks like behind that mask, but Damian has to be surprised that Spectre’s still conscious!  Damian charges in and so does Spectre, Damian sliding beneath Spectre’s legs!  Both men bounce off the ropes, and Spectre hits a huge dropkick to Damian’s legs!  My God, that hast to hurt!  Wait a second, Damian’s on his feet, fighting through the pain!  Spectre turns around, lifts Damian up for the Spike DDT, but Damian flips out of it!  Damian lands on his feet and turns around for the Eclipse, but Spectre ducks again!  Double-leg-takedown by Spectre, now it looks like he’s going for a sharpshooter—but Damian escapes!

Mickey Avalon: You’ve got to be kidding me!

Alex Blunt: Damian on his feet again, and a bicycle kick right to Spectre’s face stuns the Sheriff of the LWF!  Damian climbing the cage, what the hell is he doing!  Damian’s hanging near the top, and my God, he propels himself from the cage!  Damian hits the Eclipse from the cage!  Both men are completely out of it, I think Damian landed badly on his leg!  Neither man is mov—wait a minute!  Damian’s crawling towards Spectre; he lays a hand on him!  One, two, three!  Damian did it!  Damian beat Spectre!  Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Extreme Champion!

Mickey Avalon: Well they’ve both had their shit ruined. Hey, someone get them some booze!
Alex Blunt: Damian’s beginning to come to his senses. He’s climbing to his feet with help from the ref. This match has been a true test of the endurance for both men, I don’t think either of them have anything left! Oh, wait, what’s this?!

[“Coming Undone” by Korn begins to play. The camera pans to show Alistair “Stainless” Steele coming down the ramp.]

Alex Blunt: Alistair “Stainless” Steele is approaching the ring. There’s murder in his eyes, ladies and gentlemen! Damian doesn’t know what to do! Steele enters the ring and levels Damian with a massive right hook. The new champion is down again and he’s not moving! The ref is trying to stop Steele but to no avail. Steele has just taken the Extreme Championship Title from Damian Hunter and he’s not leaving the ring. Spectre is still down, Damian is out cold, there’s no one to stop Steele from walking off with that title!

[The beginning of “Hell” by Disturbed begins to play. Anomaly comes down the ramp, intercepting Steele]

Alex Blunt: You’ve got to be kidding me! Steele has been stopped by the titanic Anomaly. They’re staring each other down. This is getting intense! Anomaly on the move! She clears the distance in a few great strides! She just levelled Steele with a massive superkick with her left leg! Steele’s not out! Steele gets up but Anomaly is back on top of him!

Mickey Avalon: Hot damn!

Alex Blunt: Anomaly begins laying on the punches with that incredible left arm! Steele is bleeding, but he refuses to fall! All his attempts for a defence are failing as Anomaly bats him around! One-handed military press! This could be it! No, Steele struggles free! What is happening on the ramp?!

Mickey Avalon: Well it looks like Anomaly and Steele are fighting, Alex.

Alex Blunt: Yes. Yes they are. Oh! Anomaly just sent Steele reeling with a big boot with her left leg. She grabs the back of his head and is now dragging him to the side! Oh my God! Anomaly just slammed Steele’s head into the steel barrier with the great strength of her left arm! Steele’s not moving, I think he’s out! Anomaly retrieves the title Steele had just stolen from Damian.

Mickey Avalon: Finders keepers.

Alex Blunt: No, she’s heading back to the ring where Damian Hunter and Spectre are both just beginning to come to their senses once more. She’s entered the ring and now she’s holding out the title to Damian. The new Extreme Champion retains the title! What a sight, three of the LWF’s greatest in the ring! This has been incredible, folks, I can’t believe what I just witnessed!

Mickey Avalon: Believe it!

Alex Blunt: What?

Mickey Avalon: Nevermind.

[“You Eclipsed By Me” by Atreyu sounds throughout the arena as the camera fades to black.]